8.28.2009

Today's Dose of XKCD

Wikipedian Protester

The Return of the Nigerian Scammer!!

As promised, I responded to our mutual friend Khalil Maher from Pakistan (which is just another way of saying Nigeria on the Interwebs). If you decided not to click on the blue underlined "promised" above like good boys and girls, I'll fill you in. A scammer from Pakistan Nigeria emailed me a long, eloquent saga of financial woe, and desperately needs my help in transferring 480,000 Pounds into his account from Britain. The bank doesn't trust his account information, so he wants me to let him use my account as a go-between. If you still don't want to click the link, here's what he wrote:


I greet you to seek help. The bank advise for a reliable bank account from your country so that my funds could be transferred without stress of the ecb and your contact came to me after an intensive search. my name is Khalil Mohammed Maher, i live in Karachi Pakistan as a business man who deals on currency trading. My wife Shahira and our only kid?s a boy and a girl named Mohammed and Afiyah lost their lives in a fatal car accident September 29th last year when traveling to visit her relatives in a nearby town. after that great lost to my entire life, i decided to relocate by having a dwelling in UK, been impatient to leave and making plans on how to buy a house in UK, i unluckily met with one crook named Robert Stephens who based in UK and claimed on the web to be estate agent on built-up buildings. We made arrangement for a flat of 3 bed rooms in Cheshire Greater Manchester UK that he requested £480,000 pounds and instructed me to make a wire transfer of that sum to his account with Abbey National bank UK, which i obeyed. luckily for me after the transfer, the bank confirmed his account to be fraudulent and had been receiving fraudulent payments from numerous people, which made them seized all the money in his account then closed it. I made known to the bank i paid the £480,000 pounds that drew their attention to his account and even sent the payment facts for their confirmation to refund my money, which they confirmed and are willing to make a refund of the paid sum to me. please help me receive my money and transfer to me since the bank have said they cannot make a transfer of that sum to me in Pakistan based on the high security level of the European central bank. write to me via the below given email id if i can get help from you and you shall be rewarded with 5% after the refund. thanks and may God the almighty guide and bless you. K. M. Maher. khalilmohammedmaher @gmail.com


What he didn't realize was that he had found the Ruler of the Interwebs; and the Ruler wanted to have some fun. So, naturally, I played along. I registered for a new gmail address and wrote him
back (under a new name) the following:
Hi, My name is John Smith, and I see you have contacted me regarding your problems with the European Banks and the transfer of 480,000 pounds. I have read your moving story, and I have decided that I would like to speak with you about helping you out. I am a successful American Businessman, and I have many different bank accounts that I can provide to a worthy cause. Your story is unfortunately a common one; many of my close friends in less developed countries have run into similar problems with the banks so I know how you must feel right now. I would therefore like to help you in any way possible. Please contact me with more details. iclickonspam@gmail.com


Notice the three key words in there: Successful. American. Businessman. This guy's probably drooling all over his filthy Nigerian Internet cafe keyboard right now. Also, gotta love that gmail address. Needless to say, about a day later (probably the amount of time it takes for the gmail update to reach N
igeria), guess who's chomping at the bit:

Thank you very much for your quick response which I have sat to reason thoroughly about. Please get back to me with the below required information's to ensure that your help is of a good will and not to impair, and to enable me forward them to the bank in charge for the refund of my money via your end and then you shall be contacted promptly by the bank for a safe refund of my money. 1. Full Names 2. Age: 3. Tel: 4.Contact Address: Please do get back to me sooner for a safe refund of my money via your end in my favor and for a little favor to you as i have promised to release 5% for a trustworthy assistance from you. Thanks and may Allah the almighty bless and guide you for the concern, k.m. maher

And the rabbit hole gets deeper. Notice that he doesn't really ask for sensitive information at this point. His English may be questionable, but he sure knows how to run a basic scam. Now I've got to figure out how to respond. if I give him fake info, I won't be able to continue our little transaction. Enter Google Voice. My friend over at The Daily Harangue has already talked about it, so I won't bother here (yes, I'm telling you to click on the underlined words. Just do it already). I don't know what to do about the home address, and I will give him my fake "Full Names"; all of them. Anyone have any idea what to put as the address?

Once again, I'll keep you posted as I shamelessly play mind games with Khalil Maher from Pakistan, who is probably just a poor victim of his country's economic depravity. I have no sympathy, I have no regret. You don't mess with the Ruler of the Interwebs.

8.27.2009

How to Slander on the Interwebs

This hi-frikin-larious article on Cracked.com was written in response to the Canadian Model anonymity case I wrote about earlier and even before that.

You will laugh out loud.

I'm Hanging This Up

Anyone who has ever had to work any kind of IT support job will immediately print this out and hang it somewhere.

Anyone who doesn't obviously lacks a sense of humor, and doesn't deserve the privilege of hanging it anyways.




Source: Posting on XKCD forums

8.26.2009

Microsoft: No Black People in Poland

Take a gander at this website for Microsoft's Business Productivity Infrastructure.

Now look at the Polish version

This really happened, people. This is not a joke.

Not only is a white man's face photoshopped into the picture, but it was badly photoshopped! His hand is still black! I don't know who to laugh at harder on this one, Microsoft or Poland, but whoever was responsible for this needs to be fired, or taken out back and shot.

Granted, as of this posting the Polish website is back to its African American normalcy. But it was changed long enough for people to notice it and grab a screenshot. And in the world of the Interwebs, that's really all the time you need to make a (racist) difference.

Thank you to the Interwebs for picking this one up before MS could cover their shameful tracks.

What Now, Dumb Canadian Model?

A few days ago, I posted a story about a Canadian model trying to get Google to give up the name of an anonymous blogger who put her pictures up with "defamatory" captions.

Read about it here.

So, the judge on the case ruled that Google would have to give up the name. I've already discussed why this is wrong, but if you read my other posting about this, you would know this already. Turns out the blogger is one Rosemary Port, a 29-year old Fashion Institute of Technology student. And I am very proud to say that she is furious at Google. Furious enough to file a lawsuit against Google to the tune of $15 million. She claims that Google "breached its fiduciary duty to protect her expectation of anonymity." She feels that Google didn't do their duty to put up a reasonable defense of her case, and that her right to privacy was breached because of it. Port and her lawyer plan to take this all the way to the Supreme Court if need be.

I've gotta say, I was completely surprised by this. I expected this story to die when Google gave up the name of some dumb teenager who in turn got scolded by his parents for abusing his Interwebs rights. Instead, this feisty fashion student is striking back hard, suing Google and making National headlines; She is scheduled to appear on Good Morning America tomorrow.

Talk about a plan backfiring! If Rosemary spins this the right way, our Canadian Model friend will lose more actual business from complaining to Google than she would have otherwise. This could turn into a media circus and watershed case that will change the way the law views anonymity on the Interwebs. Or Google will just settle, and this will die, albeit a little later than expected. My vote is on the latter, but hey, one can hope...anonymously.

And if Rosemary pulls this off, score one for the Interwebs!


8.25.2009

Going Too Far With A Public Service Announcement

In an effort to put a stop to texting while driving, a Public Service Announcement was issued by the Gwent Police Department in Wales. Due to its graphic and controversial nature, it has become a hit on the youtube and it is being banned for use in other countries.

The video can be found here.

I only made it a minute or two before I had to stop watching. It was right after the little toddler in the backseat asks "When are Mommy and Daddy gonna wake up?" as her parents lie dead in the front seat. I had to turn it off. It was too much. This video simply goes too far.

I'm all for showing teenagers the consequences of their bad habits. I am in full agreement that texting while driving is a horrible idea and should be stopped. However, graphic displays of death, grief, anguish, violence, and of a small child watching her parents die is not something that you can just put out as a PSA. The thoughts going through my head after watching this video had absolutely nothing to do with text messaging. I was mainly furious at whoever decided this horrifyingly intimate portrayal of tragedy and violence should be spread in a public forum. I was depressed. Depressed because I really don't need to be reminded that these things happen. It doesn't make me a better person. In fact, it just paralyzes me with fear. Every time I get in a car, that little girl will be asking when her parents will wake up.

I'm not even going to go into why this video has nothing to do with texting while driving. That's really not the point. Remember the ads during one big drunk driving campaign where they showed pictures of promising young people with families, etc. and then said "Killed by a drunk driver on so-and-so date"? Those struck a sad chord in me as well, but they didn't make me angry and depressed. It was short and to the point. The message was simple. Drunk driving leads to people dying. It was succinct. It was tasteful. It worked. I don't need to have graphic scenes of bloody tragedy shoved down my retinas to make me stop texting while driving. All they needed to show was a collision. It would have driven the point home just fine. But no, they have to make you witness all the horrible little details of death and dying.

Another reason why I'm so upset is because I know that this scene could happen regardless of the whole subject of texting. In fact, it happens on a daily basis. We know this, yet our mind decides not to dwell on that every time we leave the confines of our homes. If we were constantly reminded that death and tragedy are always around the corner, we would all be miserable hermits, looking over our shoulder and living out our short existence in constant fear of both the known and the unknown. So please stop reminding me.

As a nice little aside, this proves a very good point. Why is this video causing controversy over depictions of graphic violence when R-rated movies and violent video games are freely available all over the globe? The answer is very simple. Movies and video games are fake. They are meant to be fake. They were never meant to be accurate depictions of the real world. When a movie is violent and bloody, it is always over the top, unreal, and for the most part fun. Movie writers know that when th violence really becomes real, people won't watch. It hits too close to home. Because deep down in our psyche, we know that violence and tragedy are always around the corner. We don't want to be reminded of it. We are comforted in knowing that what's going on in the theaters isn't quite real. We won't ever have to deal with that violence. When someone makes a video that says "This will happen to you if...", all of a sudden things become a little too much for our minds to handle and we recoil from it.

I hope I can let this go now that I got if off my chest. On to happier things....

The Interwebs Strike Back!

The epic tale of The Pirate Bay, the infamous torrent hosting site, is indeed epic. I won't go into the full story here, but you can catch up here if you need to.

So, the Pirate Bay is in cloudy water right now as the website's new home has been prone to DNS errors, slowdowns, and various other annoyances. Lawsuits are flying left and right, and things generally don't look so great for our Swedish protagonists. The many and varied copyright enforcement agencies that succeeding in effectively pushing the The Pirate Bay around are sitting all high and mighty over their victorious conquest of the dastardly breakers of copyright law.

Rule 1 of Interwebism: Never underestimate the Interwebs (Yep, made that up. I'm the Ruler, that's why).

Long before the legal mess happened upon The Pirate Bay, they uploaded a backup of their entire index of torrents for anybody to download. One anonymous user who managed to grab that torrent has uploaded it to BTarena.net, effectively rendering the shutdown of The Pirate bay completely pointless. Not only is this index basically a copy of the original site, it is being distrubuted freely, meaning that instead of copyright cops dealing with one Pirate Bay, anyone can now have the ability to host the entire catalog of The Pirate Bay. By attempting to shut down the biggest purveyor of illicit media on the net, the copyright cops have effectively increased the amount of torrents downloaded on the Interwebs exponentially.

Thus, the T-shirt that sums it all up:




So, what can we learn from all this?

- Copyright law cannot be enforced on the Interwebs. It is simply a war of numbers. The only to stop it is a ban on all ISPs for .torrent file formats. Imagine trying to ban the distrubution of the .mp3 format and you'll see how futile an effort this would be.

- Let's say .torrent file were banned. Another format would simply pop up after it, and here we go again. Don't forget Usenet either. Another under-popularized distribution point of copyrighted material. It will never end. It is far easier to create a digital supply chain than it is to destroy one, so places like The Pirate Bay will always be one step ahead.

- Legal response is not the answer. Smart marketing is the answer. If you want people to pay for something that they can otherwise get for free, make it worth their while. Give them a reason to give you money. Offering something for a price that they can get for free elsewhere isn't much of an incentive.

- Revolutionize the Entertainment business model. Don't have your revenue dependent on sales. The Interwebs have already declared sales to be so 1990's so give up. Make like Google and provide free services while profiting from alternative sources. There is always a way to succeed in a capitalist environment. It's all about gauging supply and demand. In terms of digital media, supply is practically infinite, so there really isn't any good way to capitalize on that anymore. The only way would be to squelch supply, which was covered in a previous point.

The world of digital media distribution is constantly changing. The Interwebs have embraced that change wholeheartedly, and with gusto. Now the entertainment corporations need to drop the old and broken business model and join the kingdom of the Interwebs, or else all they risk losing everything to their own unwillingness to adapt.

8.24.2009

Responding to a Nigerian Scam Artist


This little treasure happened upon my mailbox last night and I can't help but share. This guy obviously put some real effort into this email, and he deserves some recognition.

I greet you to seek help.
The bank advise for a reliable bank account from your country so that my funds could be transferred without stress of the ecb and your contact came to me after an intensive search. my name is Khalil Mohammed Maher, i live in Karachi Pakistan as a business man who deals on currency trading. My wife Shahira and our only kid?s a boy and a girl named Mohammed and Afiyah lost their lives in a fatal car accident September 29th last year when traveling to visit her relatives in a nearby town. after that great lost to my entire life, i decided to relocate by having a dwelling in UK, been impatient to leave and making plans on how to buy a house in UK, i unluckily met with one crook named Robert Stephens who based in UK and claimed on the web to be estate agent on built-up buildings. We made arrangement for a flat of 3 bed rooms in Cheshire Greater Manchester UK that he requested
£480,000 pounds and instructed me to make a wire transfer of that sum to his account with Abbey National bank UK, which i obeyed. luckily for me after the transfer, the bank confirmed his account to be fraudulent and had been receiving fraudulent payments from numerous people, which made them seized all the money in his account then closed it. I made known to the bank i paid the £480,000 pounds that drew their attention to his account and even sent the payment facts for their confirmation to refund my money, which they confirmed and are willing to make a refund of the paid sum to me. please help me receive my money and transfer to me since the bank have said they cannot make a transfer of that sum to me in Pakistan based on the high security level of the European central bank. write to me via the below given email id if i can get help from you and you shall be rewarded with 5% after the refund. thanks and may God the almighty guide and bless you.
K. M. Maher.
khalilmohammedmaher @gmail.com
Ok, this is the plan. I am going to create a Gmail account, respond to this guy, and see where things go from there. I'm not kidding. I really want to know how these things actually go down.

I'll be giving you a play by play as things really do "go down."

Now You Know

Brought to you by my good friends over at XKCD, the cruel unmasking of the neighborhood computer geek.





And now you know.