Unfortunately, I wrote the piece in Microsoft Word. Satan made me do it, and I can't say no to Satan. If you know how to say no to Satan, you should blog about it. You might become famous, get a publishing office to unload heaps of cash on you to whore yourself out to public scrutiny. Kinda like that girl did in Julie & Julia.
Ok, fine, so that was what this post was supposed to be about; How I how I hate chick flicks, and I was going to hate this one, but it ended up being about blogs, and that was cool. It was a lot longer and a bit more eloquent than that, but you get the gist.
But now this post is about Microsoft Office, and how when I tried typing "We," I hit Ctrl-W instead of Shift-W. For the Shortcut Illiterate among you, Ctrl-W closes a window. And consumes everything inside it, throwing it into the deep, dark abyss of lost data. It didn't even give me the simple, ubiquitous and helpful request to save the changes in my document before closing. Alas, 'Document 2' is no longer with us. I couldn't even give it a proper name before it was whisked away by fate and destiny to a better place. A place where serif and sans-serif mingle and frolic in joy and jubilation, a place where Wingdings sit beside Times New Roman, and changes never need to be saved. This place is a crowded place, because as we all know so very well, all .docs go to heaven (That was horrifying. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me for that one. It needed to come out, and like I said, I can't say no to Satan).
I just hope my post didn't suffer.
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3 comments:
Amazing. All .doc's go to heaven. What about .docx's? Do they go to heaven as well?
If Satan made you do it, why would he let the .doc's go to heaven in the first place? It just doesn't make sense. Your logic is severely flawed. This must have involved the hand of the almighty as well. Otherwise, I can see no explanation for those files getting past the mighty Satan.
Unless... Maybe YOU are Satan. That would explain your approval of Julie & Julia, as well as your "accidental" control-w of your precious article, sending into the world of document heaven, and not the underworld. Perhaps it was a terrible article, and as Satan, you are evil, leaving you in disgust at the idea of such an awful article being associated with yourself and all that is evil in this world. Heaven forbid you should allow such a thing to enter the blogo-rhombus (aka, Satan's world).
Or maybe Microsoft was just plain stupid for making control-w do that. Come to think of it, that IS pretty dumb.
First of all, .docxs go straight to hell, because if you're going to be a file format that isn't backwards compatible with Word 03, then you are dumb, and deserve the flames of purgatory.
Secondly, the logical conclusion of your statements is that Microsoft is Satan. This would explain the Ctrl-W fiasco. And many, many, other things.
Ahhhh... I see what you're saying.
But wait, I like Microsoft.
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